


By Your Side

by Mello_Drama_Reborn



Category: DREAM!ing (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, character story knowledge not neccessary, it runs the whole gambit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-04 21:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16797760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mello_Drama_Reborn/pseuds/Mello_Drama_Reborn
Summary: Chizuru had found his new favorite way of torturing Kasuka, with perhaps the best part about it being that no one could make him stop: not Shigure, not Inoh, and of course, not Kasuka himself.And that’s because his new torture method was kindness.





	1. Chapter 1

Chizuru had found his new favorite way of torturing Kasuka, with perhaps the best part about it being that no one could make him stop: not Shigure, not Inoh, and of course, not Kasuka himself.  
And that’s because his new torture method was kindness.

“Good morning~” Kasuka looked up fearfully as Chizuru sauntered over, shoulders jolting as Chizuru clapped a hand over each of them. “How are you this morning~? Not too tired, I hope? I did try to keep an eye on Ushiwaka-san yesterday for you so that he didn’t sleep during the day, but perhaps you could feel worn out from doing your daily fortunes?”

Despite his playful massaging, Kasuka’s shoulders stayed perfectly stiff, his whole body frozen in fear born from the paranoia he’d built up over the past few days. Sensing his distress, Shigure made his way over, frowning as he tried to judge the situation.

“Maki, Shibutani doesn’t seem to appreciate what you’re doing. Perhaps you should just give him some space right now?”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I was just trying to take your advice to heart, Hakka-san! It’s important to get along well with one’s classmates, isn’t it?” Chizuru offered Shigure his sweetest grin, the other seemingly taken aback by his reply. “Oh, you also aren’t fond of mornings, are you? Since there’s still some time before class begins, I was about to offer to fetch Kasuka here some coffee; would you like me to fetch you one as well, Hakka-san?”

“Oh, um… That, would be nice actually, thank you.”

“It’s no trouble at all!” Chizuru practically sprung up from where he’d been sitting on the corner of Kasuka’s desk, turning to give the petrified man a smile as well. “I know Hakka-san prefers his coffee black, but I assume you would like something sweeter, Kasuka? I have heard Ushiwaka-san mention that you have a taste for sweet dango, after all!”

Kasuka continued to say nothing, too terrified to process the request. That was just fine, it gave Chizuru an excuse to get closer, seeing panic light up on Kasuka’s face as he leaned in.

“Kasuka? Goodness, you really do seem tired! Perhaps I’ll just bring some sugar back with me, and you can adjust it to your liking?”

Kasuka’s eyes widened on his, his mouth opening like he wanted to say something but he was too afraid to - he didn’t trust the sincerity of the request, was afraid of what indulging in the sudden unprompted kindness would cost him.  
It didn’t matter, because Chizuru knew what he wanted to say. Kasuka preferred tea to coffee; while Chizuru was gone, running off to the cafeteria, he was sure Kasuka would panic about this, worried about what would happen if he refused the drink he never asked for. It would be fun to watch his expression in that moment, weighing whether to speak up or to endure, as if his very life hung in the balance - but Chizuru had already decided that he would get the tea. No matter how much he might enjoy playing ignorance, ultimately he knew that the result of his little game would be more gratifying if he dragged it out.  
Taking both drinks back to the classroom, Chizuru looked forward to how Kasuka would react to his pleasant surprise.

That class period was full of little joys: Kasuka’s squeak of terror when Chizuru asked for his “thank you” for the drink, Inoh’s mild look of confusion at the cups on Kasuka and Shigure’s desks, and of course, the announcement of weekly exam scores; with Chizuru at the top, and Kasuka second to the bottom.

Grinning with delight, Chizuru made his way to Kasuka’s desk, fondly moving aside the tea cup sitting there before assuming his favorite perch on its corner.

“Oh my! You really did score poorly, you poor thing!”  
Kasuka moved to cover his test paper with his arms, but Chizuru flicked it off the table with one swift movement, eyes scanning the page as Kasuka’s face fell into despair.  
“That brain of yours really can’t do math, can it? If you’d like, I could go over the problems with you, using my test as reference?” With a smile, he held up his perfect paper, Kasuka grimacing at it a moment before staring down into his lap.

“Maki-kun, please go back to your seat.” 

Chizuru looked up to see that Inoh giving him a critical eye, his mouth flattened into a disapproving line.

“I was only offering to help Kasuka review the material from the exam, sensei! I have nothing to do during the review period, and certainly with his score, Kasuka here wouldn’t be able to figure out what he got wrong on his own!”

The corners of Inoh’s mouth buried themselves deeper into his frown, pausing as he carefully chose his words.

“Let Shibutani-kun be the judge of that.”

Eyes widening, Kasuka panicked as he realized both of their attention had turned to him. Chizuru grinned, sliding Kasuka’s test back in front of him, his finger tracing the line of red x’s on the front page.  
Kasuka knew what was best for his own good, especially considering Chizuru’s treatment towards him recently.

Reluctantly, Kasuka shook his head, and Inoh’s face fell slightly.

“Alright. I’ll be watching you though, Maki-kun.”

“I will do my best to tutor him.”

Chizuru gave Inoh his sweetest smile, pulled over a chair, and then Chizuru did just that.  
He spoke softly, gently, biting back (most of) his insults as he walked through the different problems. The entire time, Kasuka remained on edge - trembling slightly as Chizuru leaned against him gesture across the desk, clearly unable to focus as he sweetly whispered encouragement into his ear. Over time he calmed down, starting to adjust to his presence and the close proximity, and when he did, Chizuru couldn’t help but slide a hand onto Kasuka’s thigh, watching the way he tried to hide the panic reviving on his face as Chizuru massaged his inner leg with his thumb, relishing the way he began to tremble under his touch, the feeling sending a shiver of delight through him.

“C-Could you...”

“Yes?”

His hand remained on Kasuka’s leg, but Kasuka, once again weighing the risks of his decisions, lost his nerve.

“... Could you repeat what you said just now?”

He felt his fake smile bend into a smirk.  
The addictive feeling of power.

“Of course.” He picked up his hand to take Kasuka’s pencil, laughing a bit as Kasuka let out a sigh of relief.

Yes, being kind had its rewards.

The lunch period was the most challenging part of Chizuru’s new routine.  
There was, of course, the fact that this was a period where he had access to Jin - he had to remain top priority, meaning Chizuru couldn’t keep track of where Kasuka went after classes (he’d learned that he could be stalking one of any three people during that time, with the added complication of Kasuka starting to change his own patterns to avoid Chizuru). While the most responsible and efficient option would be to stay with Jin during this time, Chizuru had found a very compelling reason to take just a bit of time out to continue his onslaught on Kasuka: Sweets.

“So, this is where you are today, Kasuka!”

Kasuka let out a yelp as Chizuru knelt down beside him - today he was hiding behind one of Yanagi’s rose bushes, anticipating that he’d come by soon to water them.  
That, or bring a girl over. Really, the little growling noises Kasuka made when he was jealous were endlessly entertaining, to the point where Chizuru wondered if Yanagi flirted so shamelessly only because he knew Kasuka was watching.

“You didn’t pack a proper meal today either, did you? Fortunately, I thought to bring you some food - though it is a bit humble, please help yourself!”

“I will not!” Kasuka quickly lept back to create some space between them, baring his teeth. “Have you not already had your fill of ridiculing me!? That you continue to sneer at me with deceit and contempt, day after day - what do you hope to achieve!?”

“Shh, if you’re too loud, Hanabusa-san won’t come here, will he?” That immediately silenced Kasuka, Chizuru’s light smile briefly darkening with satisfaction. “Now, I know that next you’ll accuse me of poisoning the food, so I’ll have some myself.”

Chizuru scooped up a few of the soba noodles that served as the entree of the tray he’d brought over, light enough that Kasuka’s stomach, unaccustomed to eating proper meals, was likely to accept them without problem. Kasuka watched him with suspicion, his hard gaze only softening slightly as Chizuru smiled with satisfaction after finishing his sample. He repeated the same for each of the side dishes, Kasuka continuing to watch him carefully until, finally appeased, he accepted the tray.

“While fetching the tea this morning, I regretted not having proper snacks to pair it with, so this time I took the liberty of preparing some. I believe this strawberry wagashi would go nicely with green tea, don’t you?” Chizuru pulled out a box he’d bought earlier in the week - though it’d been a wonderful find, finding the time to indulge in them among the bustle of Jin’s schedule had been difficult, Chizuru reluctant to offer some of his purchased sweets to Jin himself due to their humble origins being below his usual fare. They were also, quite unfortunately, very perishable, to the point that sharing with Kasuka of all people was a far better alternative to letting any of his delicious discovery go to waste. “Please help yourself to these as well, as I’m not very partial to sweets.”

“... There’s no point in lying to me, I am well aware of your penchant for snack food.”

“E-Excuse me!?”

Chizuru pulled the wagashi back towards himself in offense, before realizing that he wasn’t doing himself any favors, reluctantly setting it down own on the grass between them. Kasuka eyed the box with interest, putting down his chopsticks to sip at his tea. As he did, he started to reach for the box, Chizuru realizing he was going for the one with the biggest piece of cut strawberry on top and instinctively grabbing it out of the box before Kasuka had the chance.

“What do you know! It seems there _is_ some merit in having sweet food from time to time.”

Chizuru took a sip of tea to hide his smirk, Kasuka’s mouth hanging slightly open with a mixture of shock and betrayal. 

“You do realize that you’re not just messing with him anymore, right?”  
Mikage’s voice stopped Chizuru as he lowered himself back into his chair, flicking his lollipop out of his mouth to point the stick towards the wagashi box.  
“Were you going to offer _me_ any of those?”

“I had considered it, but judging by where this conversation seems to be going, I think I won’t.”

Chizuru sat down, packing the wagashi box away as Mikage let out an exaggerated sigh.

“I’m not teasing, you know. I’m worried about you.”

“I don’t see any reason why you should be.”

“How much time to you spend thinking up ways to spoil little Kasuka-chan?”

Chizuru let out an impatient sigh, turning to fix Mikage a glare.

“If you’re insinuating that I’m letting _Kasuka_ of all people get in the way of my obligations to Jin-san, you are mistaken. I’ve served Jin-san long enough that I do not need to take any significant amount of time to provide for his satisfaction, which leaves me with enough time free to take on side projects.”

“Whoa, calm down there, I didn’t say anything about your Jin-san.” Mikage took a step back, well aware of the punishment for questioning Chizuru’s service to Jin. “I just wonder if you’ve ever asked yourself why you’re spending any time on him at all.”  
Mikage’s casual smile turned slightly exasperated as Chizuru pointedly ignored him, starting to organize his notebooks on his desk.  
“You haven’t noticed, have you? You’ve been giddy recently.”

“Mikage, I don’t think it’s any secret that I am a sadist. I bring a riding crop to my yume lives.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, everyone knows.” Mikage moved to lean against Chizuru’s desk, lowering his voice with the reduced distance between them. “This is a different kind of giddy, though.”

Chizuru had to take a moment to process the implication of his statement, too distracted by the irritating proximity of Mikage’s smirk to put the pieces together right away.

“Are you- ” he struggled between the impulse to laugh and to choke Mikage’s smug grin off his face “- did you just imply that I’ve developed _feelings_ for Kasuka Shibutani?”

Mikage just shrugged, leaning back to restore the distance between them.

“Look, you can dig this hole for yourself as deep as you want, but if you keep treating every act of decency as some sort of harassment tactic, you won’t have anything left when you want to have a regular interaction with him.”

“I don’t think Kasuka is capable of ‘regular interaction’.” Chizuru smirked to himself, Mikage making a face that finally said he was giving up.

“Okay, I did my best. Don’t come crying to me when his paranoia boils over and he files a restraining order or something.”

“Well, if I start to go through sadistic withdrawal, I suppose I’ll just have to take it out on you~”

“It won’t be the same~”

With that, Mikage sauntered away, leaving Chizuru to reluctantly process their conversation in the rest of the time before class resumed.

Reflecting on it, Chizuru had been happier since he started devoting himself to his little game with Kasuka. Over the past few days, Chizuru had actually looked forward to classes, normally a time he dreaded - a time where he couldn’t attend to Jin, instead had to sit among the rubbish he was supposed to call his peers. Recently he woke up every morning excited for the day ahead, and that excitement had spurred him to plan increasingly complex schemes to pamper Kasuka, reveling in every one of his terrified reactions, his little yelps and the way he shuddered and held himself.  
Of course, that didn’t mean that Mikage was right - the idea that his fun would end if he continued down the path he was on was ridiculous, because in the first place, the fun came from making Kasuka’s paranoia as bad as possible.  
If Kasuka jumped at every sound and shifting shadow out of fear for him, Chizuru couldn’t think of anything more amusing. That he could get so anxious without Chizuru even lifting a threatening finger towards him is precisely what made this so much fun.

That he took every opportunity to savor that fear meant only that - it wasn’t Kasuka himself he enjoyed seeing, just his terrified reactions.

For better or worse, Chizuru’s little game did have to be called off for physical education, if only because it took all of Chizuru’s concentration to not make a fool of himself. Out of doors, members of Black Dorm outside of the special class could see him, and it was imperative that Chizuru maintain their respect and admiration. This meant less that he make a star of himself and more that he avoid exposing any weakness, strength and endurance being areas he allowed the brutes of his class to excel ahead of him in.  
Of course, no amount of caution could prevent Shinya Shibasaki, living disaster, from making a mess of things, and today Chizuru found himself crashing to the ground as the man in question cannonballed into his side due to his inability to run in a straight line, or have eyes.

“Whoa, I’m sorry!! Are you alright? Can you stand?”

“Of course I can, you brainless imbecile, I’m no- ngh!” He felt a jolt of pain run up his leg as he tried to stand, and ah, of course he’d twisted his ankle in the fall.  
Making eye contact with Mikage across the field, he could read his mind easily: _I’ll take you to the infirmary, because then I don’t have to sweat out here anymore._  
Chizuru gave him a nod, knowing that if he was going to have to be carried out, he’d much rather it be Mikage than Shinya doing the carrying. Before Mikage could reach him, however, Chizuru let out a shout as an arm looped itself under his legs, another pressing into his shoulder blades as he was hefted off the ground.  
Looking up with the intention of delivering a stern scolding, Chizuru’s words stopped in his throat as he looked into the face of Kasuka Shibutani.

“I’ll take you inside.”

“Ah, alright..”

As Kasuka started to walk off the field, Chizuru made the mistake of making eye contact with Mikage, the latter wearing a knowing smirk as he gave him a cheerful wave.  
Not that he actually knew anything.

Unsure whether it was by luck or Kasuka’s hatred of other’s stares, the two managed to make it to the school infirmary undetected, much to Chizuru’s relief. Kasuka, despite constantly looking like a shriveled, malnourished husk of a human being with a reputation for passing out across campus, made the trip without breaking a sweat, his hold on Chizuru steady as deceivingly strong arms carried him through the school. (Having just been in physical education class with him, Chizuru was of course aware of Kasuka’s surprising physical capabilities; he just normally tried not to think about them. For reasons that definitely didn’t have to do with his insecurities about his own lack of physical capabilities.)  
Kasuka placed Chizuru on one of the infirmary cots with surprising care, lowering him down gently as he paid special attention to Chizuru’s twisted ankle. After placing him down, Kasuka glanced around, and though Chizuru expected him to leave immediately, he instead only moved as far as the neighboring cot, grabbing the pillow from its head and gently sliding it under Chizuru’s ankle.

“... Figures the infirmary would be unstaffed, now of all times.”

Kasuka muttered the phrase to himself with a hint of bitterness Chizuru couldn’t help but relate to, also feeling a twinge of irritation that the infirmary was completely empty. Could a school the likes of Shinonome really not afford to staff the room during the full class day?

Once again defying Chizuru’s expectations of him, Kasuka went next to the small mini-fridge under the nurse’s desk, still grumbling to himself as he pulled out an ice pack.

“Will you be nursing me then, Kasuka?”

Kasuka glanced up at him, a touch of fear in his eyes, and then he cast his gaze away, hesitantly approaching once again before ducking into the schoolbag he’d also carried inside.

“... I have experience with twisted ankles, since I go into the woods quite often to gather materials. It’s easy to trip out there - stray roots and branches, stones, the like.”

He pulled out some bandages from his bag, glancing nervously up at Chizuru before starting to unravel them. Chizuru realized he was probably scared of being punished if he hurt his ankle while wrapping it - a completely unreasonable expectation, Chizuru wasn’t so dim-witted that he expected that it could be done painlessly.

“Go ahead. You’re making yourself quite useful, Kasuka, thank you.”

Kasuka’s uncertainty only seemed to grow with his attempt at comfort, and Chizuru felt something unsettling settle in his stomach. As Kasuka started to wrap his ankle, Chizuru felt his irritation mounting as he noticed Kasuka’s gaze shooting up from it every time Chizuru flinched at the pressure, that ‘something’ growing every time he did.

“For god’s sakes, Kasuka, I am fine. Stop looking at me as if I will have your head for causing me the slightest bit of pain.”

Kasuka flinched back at that, letting out one of his little yelps, and that _did_ make Chizuru want to take his head so that he would never have to hear the irritating sound again. Instead, Chizuru just gave him an impatient glare, before picking up the ice pack Kasuka had brought over and placing it on top of his ankle.

“I-I wasn’t- it’s not-”

“You didn’t finish wrapping it? Then get over here and do it properly.”  
Kasuka quickly moved back to his side, trembling now, and that sent a spike of agitation through him that Chizuru struggled to coax out of his voice as he added “I won’t do anything to harm you, Kasuka. You’re perfectly safe right now.”

Kasuka’s eyes hovered on his a moment, and then he went back to tying his bandages, only to wince hard as Chizuru hissed after he tightened a section that had come loose from him letting them go before. Kasuka didn’t move after that, eyes hovering over Chizuru as if waiting for him to retaliate, and Chizuru let out a sigh of frustration.  
“You’re doing fine. Just finish what you started.”

Kasuka’s hands started moving again, Chizuru letting out another sigh as Kasuka began to mutter to himself again.

“How horrible… I suppose this will be added to my debt then, too, after I thought to decrease it even a little...”

“Debt?”

Kasuka jolted again, luckily not letting his shock reach his hands. He stared at Chizuru wide-eyed for a moment, and then his expression hardened, into that mixture of misery and discontent that he often wore when he was being completely paranoid.

“You’re trying to make me indebted to you so that you can force me to commit some foul sin for you again- well, I won’t let you! You can’t hold any deeds over me that I never asked for! I won’t be manipulated again!” He punctuated his declaration by firmly tying the bandages, Chizuru wincing again. “Perhaps you’re going this far because you want to make me act against Yanagi-kun, but I will take any amount of cruelty before I double-cross him!” 

“Kasuka, I have no such plans-”

“Liar! You’ve hated him ever since he moved into the White Dorms!”

Chizuru had finally figured out what the ‘something’ was.  
It was rejection, and it hurt far more than his twisted ankle did.

Of course all the care Kasuka was showing him wasn’t out of any sort of reciprocation for Chizuru’s kindness towards him; it was the opposite, a rejection of it. Every consideration Kasuka had paid him that day was only so that he could distance himself from everything Chizuru had done for him - from Chizuru himself.

“Fine then. Consider your debt paid.”

“Then you will stop this unceasing torment you’ve subjected me to?!”

Torment?  
Really, had studying together, eating together, been that horrible?

“... May I at least thank you for today?”

“You may not!!!”

And with that, Kasuka left the infirmary.  
How completely unfair.

As much as he hated to admit it, Chizuru realized the next day that Mikage had been right.  
Now that he wanted to have a natural interaction with Kasuka, he couldn't.

Chizuru turned around in his chair to face Kasuka, smiling at him without a hint of hostility.

“Would you like me to tutor you, Kasuka?”

It was home room, and Kasuka’s nervous muttering about the math test next period was making it impossible to think. Even so, Kasuka _grimaced_ , baring his teeth like a threatened animal.

“You said that you would stop this.”

“I’m not going to torment you, though? I’m sincerely offering to help you.” He tried to look at Kasuka’s notes, but Kasuka quickly covered them with his arms, face defensive. “I promise not to tease you, so please? I just want to repay you for tending to me the other day.”

“You have nothing to pay - our debts have been settled. Leave me be.”

With that, he ducked his head back into his notes, taking back up his panicked mantra.

No matter what Chizuru did, no matter how gently or however good his intent, he was completely shut down. It was a stunning realization, as someone who devoted his life to bringing one man satisfaction; he had no way of pleasing Kasuka, couldn’t even put him at ease.  
He really had dug himself deep.

Still, he was a professional; even with the obstacle of not being able to attend to him in person, Chizuru was determined to please Kasuka somehow.  
Maybe to prove Mikage wrong. Maybe because it was a challenge.  
Maybe because, he suddenly didn’t derive any joy from seeing Kasuka unhappy anymore.

Despite the dark tempest his feelings were spinning in his mind, Chizuru felt quite pleased with what he came up with: an assortment of thoughtful gifts, arranged together in a pleasing display. Tucked among them was a card with the message “Always cheering for you - A Fan”, which he hoped would provide a bit of confidence, as well as divert any suspicions of their true origin.  
Even tending to and escorting Jin as normal, getting to class before any of his classmates was a simple task - the only other elite member of his grade with any diligence was Shigure, who was occupied with student council duties even before class began. At that point, it was only a matter of placing the modestly sized bundle into Kasuka’s locker (he had ensured beforehand that the entire arrangement could fit easily in a school bag, even bringing the package in his own without Jin noting upon it), and waiting for its recipient to arrive.

That morning Chizuru forced himself not to watch as Kasuka went to his locker, keeping his face firmly ahead, assured of his plan’s success.

“Wait.”

Chizuru was surprised to hear Kasuka call out to him at the start of the lunch period, feeling himself start to grin a bit as he turned around.

“Is there something I can do for you? Unfortunately, I must go attend to Jin-san right now, so it will have to be brief.”

“Meet with me when you’re done. I’ll be outside the cafeteria.”

“Wonderful! Would you like me to bring you anything?”

“... That won’t be necessary.”

With that, Kasuka hurried out of the room. Though he seemed no less gloomy than usual, Chizuru considered the invitation a good omen; perhaps having his spirits lifted had allowed him to reconsider his stance on Chizuru as well.

That feeling quickly disappeared when he joined Kasuka in the shadow of the school building, only for his gift to be dropped roughly at his feet.

“What… What’s this?”

“I believe it is yours.”

Kasuka’s expression was one Chizuru had never seen before; not timid, and not self-pitying - his eyes held a quiet but steady strength, burning on him.  
He was furious.

“I don’t know what you mean...”

“You _do_ , you’ve made your intention to harass me quite obvious!”

“I didn’t know gift giving counted as harassme-” He was cut off as Kasuka lifted him by the collar, silencing him instantly as Kasuka pulled them face to face, his voice trembling with resentment.

“Do you think you’re the first person to try this? Since I joined this school? This year, even?” Chizuru felt his eyes widen in a mixture of confusion and fear, no longer following what was happening as Kasuka’s grip on him tightened. “I’m sure the idea that someone would pay me any attention is very funny to you. I’m well aware of the joke - I already know that no one could ever love me without the reminder.” He shoved Chizuru away then, no less intense for the added distance.  
“If you were looking forward to laughing at me when I got my hopes up, you can forget it. You’re the only one who’ll be disappointed.”

Chizuru felt the incense sticks from the bundle break under his feet as he stumbled backwards, wincing even as Kasuka continued to stare at him unfazed.

“I never meant to--”

“LIAR!!!”

Chizuru’s back hit the wall as he jumped back, his legs threatening to buckle under him as he realized there was nothing he could do - he was helpless, bowing his head to hide the panic in his expression.

“... I’m truly sorry.”  
Kasuka made a noise, and Chizuru realized he’d started crying, angry tears streaming down his face as his shoulders trembled with restrained feeling.  
“If there’s anything I can do to make amends for this, please let me kn-”

“There’s only one thing I want from you- _to leave me alone!_ ”

With that, Kasuka turned away from him, his retreating footsteps quickly leaving him behind.

Chizuru kept his head bowed, feeling gravity tug at the tears stinging unbidden at the corners of his eyes.

“... As you wish.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Chizuru broke his perfect attendance record.

He followed his morning routine to the letter: waking up early to ready everything for Jin’s awakening, himself already dressed with Jin’s morning agenda prepared and reviewed by the time breakfast was served. As always, he rode with Jin to the school building, and then made his way to class, greeting his fellow Black Dorm residents along the way. He only broke from routine once he reached his classroom, walking past it and back down the stairs at the other end of the hallway.  
He knew it wasn’t necessary to skip class entirely, knew it wasn’t what Kasuka had meant when he made his demand; he’d even gone back to class after the lunch period the day before without any incident, but perhaps that was exactly why he couldn’t now.  
He couldn’t face what happened the day before. He couldn’t face Kasuka’s misunderstanding, and he couldn’t face the truth - he couldn’t handle another day of Kasuka glaring daggers into his back, couldn’t deal with the heavy weight of both their broken hearts.

Instead, he made his way to the library, finding a more isolated corner, and occupied himself with preparations for Jin’s work, finishing his usual tasks and then doing some research into the relocation project planned for the summer. The work kept his mind away from the previous day’s events, the feeling of productivity always a relief, and he only broke for lunch, attending Jin there as usual. When he returned to the library afterwards, he only responded to Mikage’s text of “ _saw u at lunch, whats up?_ ” with a request for some of his accounting work. Mikage sent over the files without asking any more questions.

When Chizuru reunited with Jin at the end of the school day, it was with a feeling of relief, happy to slot himself back into his daily routine. As usual, Jin worked during the ride, responding to reports he’d received from his various personnel until they reached the dorms. It was only when the two of them entered their room that Jin asked “Why didn’t you go to class today?”

Chizuru froze, heart stopping as Jin waited for his answer.

“I wanted to catch up on some work.”

“You’ve managed to balance school and work on much busier occasions.”

“Well, the relocation project needed looking into, and today seemed as fine a day as any to get it done! I prepared a preliminary repor-”

“It’s not like you to lie to me, Chizuru.”

A cold, bitter feeling wrapped around Chizuru’s heart.  
He was right. It wasn’t like him. It was unheard of, in fact.  
And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to admit the weight of his mistakes, not to Jin of all people.

He pressed on his fake smile with a feeling of defeat.

“It’s nothing you have to worry about, Jin-san.”

Jin allowed him to drop the topic there, turning away to focus on his first round of meetings for the afternoon, and Chizuru let out a breath of relief.  
At least, for the rest of the night, it’d be fine. All he had to do was focus one hundred percent on Jin; didn’t have to think about anything but him. That’s the way it should’ve always been, anyway - his first mistake had been allowing himself to do anything but.

And yet, for all his devotion to Jin, Chizuru still managed to underestimate how efficient his master could be with his limited leisure time.

Chizuru had left the room to fetch Jin and himself some coffee for roughly seven minutes - it should have been less than that, but one of the first year boys (Mr. Nito Senri, to be exact) thought to engage him in conversation despite him quite obviously holding two cups, one of which was awaiting its owner.  
When he returned to the room, Kasuka was there.

“... I’m sorry to interrupt. I’ll just leave the tray here-”

“Come in, Chizuru.”

Jin gestured to a seat already set up beside Kasuka, both of them positioned to face Jin on the sofa.

“Perhaps I should fetch one more drink, then?”

“This meeting is waiting on you.”

Bowing his head, Chizuru sat as he’d been directed, casting the slightest glance towards Kasuka in the opposite chair. Kasuka was wringing his hands anxiously, trembling with nervousness; Chizuru got the impression that his meeting was as much a surprise to him as it was to Chizuru.

“Now then, shall we begin?” It was more a statement than a question, Jin crossing his legs in front of him as he looked down on the two in front of him. “I did some investigating into your absence from class, Chizuru, and learned of an ongoing conflict between you and Shibutani.”

“Jin-san, the issues between us have already been resolved, there’s no need for a discussion-”

“Was the result of that resolution you skipping class?”

Jin’s stern response cut him down instantly, Chizuru bowing his head.

“My apologies, Jin-san.”

“I am not here to pass judgement. I just want to understand the situation.” Jin’s attention turned to Kasuka, he and Chizuru both tensing as his eyes settled on him.

“Shibutani. Can you explain the conflict between you and Chizuru to me?”

“I-” Kasuka looked as if he’d frozen, his nervous fiddling suddenly coming to a halt. After a moment, he swallowed, nervously raising his eyes to meet Jin’s, his voice dry but steady. “I agree with Maki. There’s no need to discuss anything here.”

Jin let out a hum at that, leaning back in his seat.

“You two seem uncomfortable. If you wish, I can find someone else to facilitate-”

“Jin-san, if I may-” Jin’s eyes widened as Chizuru cut him off this time, Chizuru quickly bowing in apology. “... The fault here all laid with me, so there is no point in holding a discussion. I understand what I did wrong, and I am confident that I can accommodate both of your demands going forward - I will be sure attend class properly, and I will not cause Shibutani-san any further distress.”

Jin’s eyes settled on him, cold and still, like the undisturbed surface of a pond.

“Chizuru, can you tell me what happened, then?”

“... I tried to take on responsibilities outside my obligations to you and got overzealous.” Chizuru felt Kasuka give him a glowering look for that - ah, he supposed harassment _would_ sound odd described as a responsibility. “I will be certain not to act in a way that harms your or Black Dorm’s reputation in the future. I am deeply sorry.”

“Again, I’m not here to pass judgement. I’m not asking for promises or apologies.” His eyes scanned both of them, finally giving a sigh. “... Fine. I can see that neither of you are willing to discuss anything here. I will trust you both to settle your own disagreements.” Jin reached down to pick up his coffee, pausing a moment to drink from it. “I only wanted to check in, as both of your dorm head.”  
For a moment, all of them were silent, Jin taking another sip of his coffee.  
“...You are dismissed.”

Kasuka got up immediately, giving a nervous bow before retreating from the room. Chizuru watched after him uncertainly, eyes moving indecisively between Jin and the door.

“You are dismissed as well, if you wish.”

“That… Is fine. I think it best I stay here.”

Jin gestured to the second cup of coffee, and Chizuru slowly sat back down, taking a reluctant sip.

“... Are you alright, Chizuru?”

“... Thank you for your concern.”

Jin’s gaze lingered on him, definitely noting how he’d avoided the question, but with another sigh, he let it go.

The next day, Chizuru went to class as normal. Kasuka cast an anxious glance towards his desk as he walked in, but Chizuru only gave him a weak smile before turning his gaze down to his desk, and Kasuka sat down behind him without further greeting.  
As class began, he overheard Kasuka let out some panicked exclamation about forgetting his textbook, with Minato beside him of course not having brought his own copy. Remembering his previous attempts to assist him, Chizuru kept his eyes forward.

During homeroom, Chizuru moved away from his and Kasuka’s seats to chat with Mikage towards the back of the room, Mikage accepting his finished paperwork without any questions about his absence the previous day. His attention to their conversation was limited at best, his gaze following Kasuka as grimaced under the one-sided attention Shinya showered him with, watching the way his gaze hung over Yanagi’s desk.

Discontent, Chizuru left lunch with Jin once he’d served him his meal and reported his attendance in class. He felt ancy, his restless feet taking him to the garden terrace where he’d correctly guessed that Minato would be eating, surrounded by a group of his female followers.

“Ushiwaka-san?” Chizuru gave a polite bow to the girls sitting around his classmate before roughly pulling Minato off one of their laps, glaring down at him with a dark smile. “Please be sure not to fall asleep during the lunch hour - you know how it causes problems for your partner when you aren’t able to sleep at night.”

“Huuh? Oh, okay!” Minato gave him a sleepy smile, looking ready to fall back asleep the second he was left unattended, and Chizuru turned his attention to the women, several of them jolting with fright as he did.

“All of you, please be sure he does not fall asleep again. After all, if he were to miss class again, there is a chance that he could be removed from the special class, meaning that all of you would stop seeing him in yume lives.” This received a few shocked gasps from the girls, a couple moving to shake Minato fully into wakefulness. As Chizuru smiled at them, he noticed Kasuka standing just beyond the terrace, likely having come to do just what he was doing.  
For a moment, they met eyes, and then Chizuru bowed again as he thanked everyone gathered there for their time, quickly making his exit.

Just as they’d discussed during homeroom, Chizuru sat down in the empty seat beside Mikage after lunch, unable to help himself from watching the area around his own seat as he waited for class to start.

“Maki-kun, please return to your seat.”

“So sorry, Inoh-sensei. Y’see, Chizuru forgot his textbook today, so I’m letting him sit with me to share mine.”

Inoh frowned a bit at Mikage’s response, tapping his foot a bit in thought before reluctantly giving them a nod. Meanwhile Kasuka, having failed his attempt at the same arrangement with Yanagi, who had just arrived for the second half of the school day, sulked back to his desk to find a textbook waiting for him.  
Chizuru averted his eyes when Kasuka glanced back at him, ignoring the way Mikage elbowed him in the side.

“... Here.”

Kasuka handed Chizuru’s textbook to him as he went back to his desk to retrieve his things, looking away as he did.

“Thank you. Have a good day.”

“Wait.”

Chizuru did, and Kasuka paused for a moment, their classmates slowly leaving the room around them.

“Is this about before? At the terrace? If you wish, I’ll stop meddling in your affairs-”

“It’s not about that.” Kasuka cast another glance toward the door, and - oh, Yanagi was leaving now. Figures. “You were… Staring.”

Chizuru felt a knot of anxiety twist in his gut, struggling to hold onto his neutral smile.

“What, am I not allowed to look at you either?”

“That’s not it, only...” Chizuru briefly wished he could curse Kasuka into not pausing in the middle of his sentences, his body ready to burst with pent up tension. “... Why? What were you looking for?”

Chizuru let out a sigh, turning away to place the textbook Kasuka gave him in his bag.

“I just wanted to see if you looked any happier without me. Personally, it didn’t look like it to me - really, no else in this classroom is the least bit considerate, are they? I suppose if I wanted a real answer though, I’d only have to ask how your day was yesterday, wouldn’t I? Oh, except that I figured that option wasn’t available to me anymo-”

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Chizuru nearly choked on his own pent up aggression as Kasuka interrupted him with the literal last question he expected, the words so casual they sounded like they came from someone else’s mouth.

“Excuse me?”

“... Are you free tomorrow?”

Chizuru gazed up at him in disbelief for a moment, and then he pulled out his phone, glancing over his calendar.

“... I am not. Jin-san is paying a visit to his office in Los Angeles this weekend, so I will be helping him prepare for both the meeting and his travel for all of tomorrow.”

“Will you be going with him?”

“No, I will be staying behind to manage the Black Dorms in his stead.”

“In that case, you won’t have anything pressing to attend to on Sunday.”

Chizuru felt a shiver of unease run through him, paranoia starting to spike with Kasuka’s unexpected persistence.

“Correct.”

“... Alright. I’ll come by your room then.” 

With that he left, leaving Chizuru to stare after him in stunned silence, entirely at a loss for what their next meeting would bring.


	3. Chapter 3

When Chizuru opened his door Sunday morning, the man he found in his doorway both did and did not resemble Kasuka.  
More specifically, he looked like Kasuka if he made an appointment with Minato's private stylist (which he would later learn is exactly what he did). 

His hair had been pulled out of his face into a (for once) neat bun, with some of his bangs teased out in a way that was clearly fashionable rather than his usual loose mess, just enough to prevent his wide forehead from looking too garish. He was definitely wearing makeup, his skin a more lively color and his eye bags hidden by a likely unfathomable amount of concealer.  
In short, he looked like a healthier, more fashionable Kasuka.  
So, hardly recognizable.

Kasuka fidgeted with the beaded bracelet on his wrist, squirming under his wide-eyed stare.

“... I didn't want to attract any unwanted stares towards you.”

“... So we're going out, then?” Chizuru asked, still in a slight state of awe.

“Yes.”

“Do I need to bring anything?”

“Only if you'd like to.”

Chizuru paused a moment, and then he stepped out, shutting the door behind him. Kasuka gave him a nod, turning to lead the way to… Wherever they were going.

Where they were going turned out to be the urban area surrounding Shinonome, cars zipping by sidewalks packed with people shopping or catching up, Kasuka looking even more self-conscious than usual as he pushed his way through the crowds. It was slightly painful to see him so uncomfortable, especially when he kept looking over his shoulder every few seconds to check that Chizuru was still with him. Still, the past week had taught Chizuru that the best thing he could do for Kasuka was keep his distance, and so he focused only on fighting the crowds to keep Kasuka in sight, each step heavy with the memory of last time Kasuka had asked him to meet with him.

Watching his back, it was hard not to imagine Kasuka wanting to lose him in the crowd, every backward glance a hope that Chizuru had stopped pursuing him - which is why Kasuka finally turning around to step towards him caught him off guard, and his next move to grab Chizuru's hand was the last thing he expected.

“Did you want me to walk faster?”

“This will do fine.”

His reply came with a tense determination, contrasting with the nervous sweat on his palms. As Kasuka gave his hand a squeeze, starting to pull him more brazenly through the crowds, Chizuru couldn't find it in him to mind the feeling.

Eventually Kasuka led them onto a shaded back-street, the narrow alleyway lined with literal hole-in-the-wall shops and restaurants, their names printed on signs tucked away or nondescript, hard to read despite the much lower foot traffic. With the walking easier, Kasuka cast Chizuru another glance, bashfully releasing Chizuru's hand to wipe his own self consciously on his shirt front. For a while they continued to walk in silence, until Kasuka eventually stopped at one of the poorly labeled shops, the white curtains hanging over the doorway marked only by a single Chinese character printed in bold, black brush strokes.

They received a generic welcome as they entered, Kasuka holding up his fingers to signal to the elderly woman standing in front, who immediately ushered them towards a table for two. Chizuru felt his dread from the day before rise again as he sat down, looking nervously towards Kasuka as he stared blank faced at his menu, only glancing up when he noticed Chizuru staring.

“Have you been here before?”

“... No.”

“Good.” Kasuka put down his menu, gesturing on Chizuru's. “I recommend the meat buns. Also, save room for dessert.”

Chizuru glanced distractedly down at his menu; mostly cheap, homely traditional cooking, the deserts consisting of various flavors of mochi and ice cream, sometimes in combination with each other.

He looked back up at Kasuka, searching his expression for some idea of his intentions, but Kasuka's face told nothing as he glanced absently in the direction their server had gone.

“Kasuka… What is this?”

“The menu.”

“Quiet, you - you are the last person I want getting smart with me.” Chizuru narrowed his eyes on Kasuka across the table, making him tense slightly in fear. “What am I doing here? What do you want with me?”

“... Did I not say?”

“You did not.”

Kasuka grimaced a bit, the calm composure he'd managed since entering the restaurant crumbling into his usual nervousness. For a moment he seemed to lose his voice, grappling for the words he needed to say, before finally mumbling into his chest “a… date.”

“Excuse me?”

“This is a date.”

Chizuru only stared at him in stunned, open mouthed silence, Kasuka casting his eyes away with a frown.

“If that displeases you, you may walk out now-”

“I will not!” Kasuka’s eyes widened on him as he grimaced again, Chizuru realizing he'd raised his voice when he heard a clatter behind him, quickly turning to smile apologetically at their server before turning back to harshly whisper “What do you mean, a date? I thought you'd made it quite clear you wanted nothing to do with me.” Chizuru rapidly searched his mind for an explanation, gasping as a thought struck him. “Wait- Jin-San didn't ask you to do this, did he?”

“He did not.” When Kasuka looked up at Chizuru, there was no uncertainty in his voice. “Nor did anyone else. I made this decision on my own.”

“And what prompted that decision? Revenge, perhaps? Are you planning to pull the same trick you were so certain I was playing on you?” Chizuru's words came out harsh, pent up tension forcing a bite into his voice, but Kasuka didn't wince despite his accusations.

“If that was my intention, I would have merely told you a meeting place and never arrived.”

Kasuka delivered the words with a grim neutrality, sinking into Chizuru's stomach like a stone.

“... Has that happened to you before?”  
Kasuka didn't answer him, glancing away as if he hadn't heard.  
“... Is that why you picked me up from my room?”

“That was… Part of the reason, perhaps.”

Kasuka reached up to twist a loose strand of his bangs around one of his fingers, and suddenly Chizuru could guess his other reason.  
And that's when he realized that… Kasuka was trying very hard, actually.

“... In that case, thank you. For giving me a chance.”

At that point their server walked over to take their order, and when she walked away, they fell into another awkward silence. Chizuru looked expectantly towards Kasuka, who quickly averted his eyes.

“Ushiwaka… He brought me something back from here once. That's how I found it.” Chizuru let out a barely interested hum, Kasuka squirming slightly. “I was hoping you'd be the one to make conversation… I'm not very good at it.”

“In that case, may I ask again what brought on this change of heart?”

Kasuka grimaced, obviously hoping for a lighter topic of conversation, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, Chizuru could find the expression amusing.

“That is because… Recently, I've happened to spend a lot of time with you,” 

“- so you missed me?”

“No.” Chizuru felt his smile falter at Kasuka's quick answer, but Kasuka seemed to take notice of it, a bit of regret showing on his face. “It's just that that time forced me to notice things about you, and so I couldn't help but notice how… unhappy, you've been recently.”

Chizuru felt his cheeks burn a bit at the idea that he'd gotten so depressed even _Kasuka_ had noticed, tension once again adding venom to his words.

“Our debts are settled, Kasuka. You've done nothing to feel guilty about.”

“I am not pursuing you out of guilt. Or pity.”

“Oh? So you just wanted to make me happy, then?”  
Chizuru put on his most threatening, sadistic smile, but it didn't matter because Kasuka was averting his eyes again, too deep in his own thoughts to notice.

“... You seemed to want the same for me.”

It was like the moment in the infirmary, only in reverse. It was trust, and somehow that felt just as much like a punch to the stomach, twisting in his gut and knocking all the air out of him.  
Chizuru felt his already red cheeks burn hotter- not helped by Kasuka's follow-up:  
“Now, I'll have you tell me your intentions towards me.”

“That's-” he stopped himself before he could claim it wasn't fair, realizing he'd just done the same thing. Instead, he attempted to shift the topic by asking “do you enjoy embarrassing me?”

“I am not you. Though I suppose I prefer it to the alternative…”

The last part was only muttered, but Chizuru still latched onto it, smile returning as he started to get up from his chair.

“You're about to prefer it a lot less-” Kasuka let out a yelp, cowering in his seat, and suddenly Chizuru felt all the fight leave him.  
“... You're right, I do want to make you happy. I suppose I should think about why that is.”

Kasuka relaxed as Chizuru sat back down, and Chizuru felt some of his own tension leave him as he did.

“My intentions towards you… Well, at first they were just to amuse myself. The way your react so violently to every little thing-” Kasuka wiped all expression off his face when he heard that, the reaction winning a laugh from Chizuru, “-yes, like that. You're just so much fun to tease, I couldn't seem to stop myself.” He smiled, and then his smile faltered a bit, finally walking down the line of thought he'd spent so long trying to avoid. “... But at one point I started caring about something besides that. I'm not sure what it could be - you're completely socially inept, astoundingly dumb, and though you made an exception today, generally unsightly-” Kasuka seemed to crumble a bit with each insult, Chizuru realizing with a grimace that he was the one who more closely resembled the first two at the moment. “... Or so I used to think. I suppose you're not made entirely of flaws.” Swallowing, Chizuru forced himself to say the words he'd been avoiding, feeling his face burn more the longer he spoke. “I'll admit that you are competent in a few specific areas, and at times hard working, and you are fortunately more serious than most of the rest of our class. I can also appreciate your willingness to dedicate yourself to someone...” Kasuka's eyes began to widen on him, Chizuru looking away as he forced himself to finish. “But more than any of that, I… I have fun, when I'm with you. I like being with you.”

He couldn't look at Kasuka when he finished his thought, staring into his lap as he wrung his braid in his hands. After a few moments, Kasuka started to stutter something, only for Chizuru to nearly jump through the ceiling as their server approached their table from behind, having arrived with their food.

As they started to eat, Chizuru snuck a glance up at Kasuka. His face was somewhere between bashful and thoughtful, expression far away as he stared down into his food. Chizuru felt his own expression mirror his, mouth twisting into an embarrassed frown as he turned his attention to the meat buns in front of him.  
The entire menu had been several classes below him, Kasuka's suggestion as foreign to him as the rest and therefore a (slightly less un)reasonable place to start. The idea of picking the large, puffy lump up with his hands and stuffing it in his mouth, however, struck him as barbaric, especially as starting to do so revealed it to be _squishy_.

Trying to distract himself from the act of Class Treason he was about to commit, Chizuru recalled Kasuka's words from before. He'd gotten Kasuka, of all people, to realize Chizuru had sincerely wished him well; the weight of that made something in his stomach twist (he sent some meat bun after it - what? It was sweet instead of savory! What kind of meat was this?!)  
Much like the flavor profile of his meal, Chizuru could still hardly believe it, after all he'd done -- it meant that his pouting after their confrontation outside the cafeteria had been truly pathetic, and he felt his face burn again with frustration. Still, that had somehow gotten him a date with Kasuka -- which now that he thought about it, meant that Kasuka had interpreted the attention Chizuru had shown him as romantic, which come to think of it, Mikage had too. Chizuru thought back to his own words - sure, he'd said that he wanted to make Kasuka happy and that he liked being with him, but that didn't mean that he was in l-  
That he was in lo-  
In lov-  
…

Chizuru looked up at Kasuka again, hoping to get a read on his feelings about him, but instead he nearly leaped out of his skin when he saw that Kasuka was staring at him.

“... It seems you liked the meat buns.”

Where-  
Where were his meat buns?  
There had been four of them on his plate before, so where-?

Finding no sign of his missing meal, Chizuru looked back to Kasuka to see him now smiling slightly, a hint of amusement on his face.  
His heart immediately filled to bursting, the sudden weight sending it to the bottom of his stomach.  
There was a chance that he was in fact in l-  
in lo-  
… Yeah.

“... They're passable, I suppose.”

“You're grinning.”

What-  
How long had he been doing that?

His first instinct was probably when he remembered how he'd finally triumphed over Kasuka's insurmountable paranoia and got him to trust him (even that thought growing his grin a bit), and he nearly told Kasuka that he wasn't smiling because of the cheap commoner food except that he would've then been obliged to explain why he was.  
He'd certainly picked an opportune time to realize his feelings.

The server passed by to ask them about their food, and Kasuka, apparently out to kill him, ordered desert for them: a mochi sundae, two spoons.  
The server woman gave them a grandmotherly smile as she nodded.  
And Chizuru wanted to hide under the table.

“You never had a problem sharing food before.” Kasuka was giving him a look for his reaction, despite his own cheeks being slightly pink.

“What are you- no, pre-sampling your food for poison is completely different from sharing a desert!” It struck Chizuru that this whole situation seemed very unlike Kasuka, his brow furrowing. “There was dango on the menu. Why didn't you get them?”

“... I will get an order to go. That's not possible with the sundae, though, and it's meant for two.”

“Who gave you this idea?”

Kasuka froze, visibly nervous. Chizuru hardened his glare.

“....... Asagiri.”

Chizuru barely restrained his impulse to flip the table.

“I thought you said this was your idea.”

“I-!” Kasuka was clearly shaken now, one hand anxiously snapping the beaded bracelet against his wrist. “It was! I only requested advice from Asagiri after I asked you to meet me!”

Chizuru felt his heart twist, realizing again how much effort Kasuka had put into the outing.  
Mikage was never going to let him hear the end of this though.

Chizuru was surprised when the sundae arrived, looking better than he'd expected. He immediately picked up one of the spoons to dig in, completely forgetting his earlier embarrassment until he looked up to see Kasuka's own spoon in his mouth, his eyes looking straight at Chizuru.

“... What are you looking at?”

“I… Nothing.”

The way he said it made it clear that it was _not_ nothing, but at the moment Chizuru cared far more about how delectably chewy the mochi was than whatever was going on in Kasuka's mind, continuing his siege on the sundae until next time he looked up it was half gone and Kasuka was leaning back in his chair watching him, clearly having stopped eating a while ago.

“... I'll end up eating it all at this rate.”

“That's fine.” He was smiling, again, and Chizuru felt his cheeks begin to reheat as his mouth twisted into a frown.

“You can't possibly be full. You only had two chicken skewers.”

“I don't eat much.” He paused, hesitating to speak the rest of his thoughts. “When you're enjoying your sweets, you… you're cute.”

Chizuru's spoon fell on the table with a clatter, Kasuka turning to hide his face, looking completely mortified.

“... Kasuka, are you flirting with me?”

“... I'm making an attempt.”

“... Was this also part of Mikage's advice?”

Kasuka looked like he wanted to bury his head in his chest, shoulders arching up to hide it further from view.

“He did mention that it would be cute, but… I already agreed with him before then.”

Chizuru just continued to stare at him, Kasuka folding deeper in on himself.

_Chizuru was in love with Kasuka._

Chizuru was _in love_ with Kasuka.

Chizuru was in _love_ with Kasuka and right now he really really wanted to -

“Kasuka?”  
Kasuka peered up at him from over his shoulder, face braced for death.  
“Since this is a date, I suppose it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask…” Chizuru took a steadying breath, willing his voice not to shake. “Can I kiss you?”

Kasuka's eyes widened to the size of planets, looking completely baffled, stupid, and still so, unfortunately, kissable.

“This isn't a trick, and I'm not testing you. I won't punish you no matter what your answer is. I'm asking because I want to kiss you, and I want to know if you'd let me.” Nervous energy kept pushing more words out of his mouth, Kasuka's eyes somehow finding a way to open wider. “Kasuka please can I kiss you.”

“Not… Not here.”

“Where then?”

His shoulders jumped a bit at the intensity of his response, and Chizuru knew he was pushing too hard but he was too tense to think straight, acting mostly on impulse in place of bravery.

“S-Somewhere more private...”

Kasuka straightened a bit, and Chizuru could see now that his face was completely red, tinged with nervousness as his eyes scanned the small restaurant.

Chizuru stood up from his chair.

“Alright, let's go then.”

Kasuka let out a startled yelp at the abrupt action, and in that moment Chizuru would've done everything to kiss the mouth it came from, the sound once again igniting a surge of affection in him that it used to.  
Instead, however, he was urged back into his seat, Kasuka the picture of nervous panic as he motioned for him to sit down again.

“What?”

“... I need to pay.”

Chizuru frowned with impatience, Kasuka's eyebrows rising slightly as he reluctantly sat back down.

“Something the matter?”

“No. I just didn't expect you to look so…”

“-disappointed? Well, I am.” Chizuru put on a devilish smile, feeling as if he'd found the logical conclusion to his game with Kasuka. “Do you feel loved~?”

“I-!” Kasuka's face flushed again, mouth turning into an embarrassed grimace. “Someone like me…”

Chizuru couldn't catch the rest of what he mumbled, but his tone shifted Chizuru's mood. Turning away to cast an irritated look over his shoulder for their server, Chizuru drummed his fingers impatiently on the table top.

Kasuka's steps were tense and nervous when they finally got up to leave, managing only a few before Chizuru shoved him into a narrow hallway near the entrance of the restaurant, pinning him to the wall with one hand as the other pushed down on his shoulders, Kasuka making a startled noise against his mouth as Chizuru crushed their lips together. His body went completely stiff as Chizuru pushed his own against it, and Chizuru pulled away with a pop, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as he glared into Kasuka's chest.

“I could tell by watching you - that with every step you took out of this place, you were solidifying this image of me laughing at you, for _daring_ to think that someone like _me_ would ever want to kiss someone like _you_.” He felt the hand he had pressed against the wall start to tremble, his voice dying to his nervousness. “That's why… It couldn't wait.”

Kasuka made a choked whimper, and Chizuru looked up to see his eyes sparkling with the beginnings of tears, the sight sending a bolt of regret through him. Thinking that he'd ruined everything, Chizuru took a step back, only for Kasuka's hand to shoot out and pull Chizuru back against him. Chizuru froze as Kasuka's arms wrapped themselves around his waist, Kasuka pressing a weak kiss against his hairline -  
And then suddenly, Chizuru was standing in the narrow hallway of a small restaurant, crushed in a sloppy embrace and almost certainly blocking the way to the restrooms, as Kasuka broke down into loud, ugly sobbing.  
And all things being considered, Chizuru was pretty happy with the situation.

Gently, Chizuru wrapped his arms around Kasuka, nestling his head into his chest as Kasuka continued to cry. His sobs filled the hallway around them, likely echoing out into the rest of the restaurant, but Chizuru paid none of it any mind, focusing only on moving his arm in soothing strokes against Kasuka's back.

“Hey, Kasuka?” Kasuka squeezed him slightly in answer, his sobs continuing unbroken. “... We should do this again. I think we'll both enjoy ourselves more when we're less terrified of each other.”

Kasuka nodded into his hair, attempting to quiet his cries only to produce a pathetic whine. Chizuru continued to hold him until his crying ceased, whispering soothingly into his ear as he leaned against his chest.

After slipping their server an extra tip as they walked out, the two eventually left the restaurant, walking in comfortable silence until they once again reached the main road. The crowds hadn't died down at all since they left, it still being the height of a Sunday afternoon, and Chizuru gently offered his hand only for Kasuka to pull his own violently away. 

“Absolutely not, I can't let you do that!” He sniffed, pulling out his handkerchief with a grimace, the light piece of cloth already covered in washed off foundation. “I'm pathetic- I will be laughed at the second I walk onto that street, and you will be with me!”

“Kasuka-”

“No!!! That would be absolutely unforgivable, I won't have it!”

“ _Kasuka._ ” Chizuru took a forceful step forward, Kasuka jumping back in fright only for Chizuru to advance on him further, forcefully taking his hand. “Look at me.”  
Slowly, Kasuka opened the eyes he'd squeezed shut in fear, both of them puffy and red with crying, once again clearly set in their deep bags. Chizuru reached a hand up to wipe away another tear beading at one of their corners, sliding it down to caress his cheek.  
“There is not a single person among that rabble whose opinion matters to me. And even if they did… I see nothing shameful about being seen with you.” He leaned in to press a light kiss against his cheek, Kasuka's eyes darting to scan the narrow side street for people. “You look very nice today. I forgot to mention that earlier.”

“... I do not.”

“You do.” Chizuru moved to press a kiss to his other cheek, covering Kasuka's eyes with his hand as he did. “And stop worrying. No one cares.”

Kasuka only grumbled, sounding far from convinced.

“You are an elite student of Shinonome Academy, remember? And an honored resident of Jin-san’s Black Dorms no less. All of them should consider themselves lucky to share a street with you, no matter how you look.” He squeezed Kasuka's hand, stepping away and offering him a smile. “After all, you captured my interest long before you made yourself up this morning.”

After a moment, Kasuka squeezed his hand back, choking back another sob.

“Oh come now, you've cried enough already, haven't you?” Kasuka nodded, moving his free hand to wipe away his tears, and Chizuru again squeezed the one he still held. “Really, you should know all of this already. Well, I'll make sure such obvious facts stop phasing you soon.”  
Kasuka pulled Chizuru back in against him, sniffing as Chizuru noticed two people turn off the main street to walk past them.  
“... We’ll go when you're ready.”

Once they'd started walking again, once again hand in hand, Chizuru noticed Kasuka's tense strides slowly accelerate, until after a few blocks he was struggling to keep up, beginning to fear that Kasuka would break into a run.

“... horrible, absolutely frightful, that I--”

“What was that, Kasuka?”

Kasuka didn't let up his pace at all as he looked over at Chizuru, who was starting to breathe heavily just keeping up with him.

“I'm completely frustrated with myself, I-! … I wonder what sin I committed in my past life, to turn our first kiss together into something so shameful-!”

Chizuru felt his eyes widen, and as Kasuka looked at him, his anxious frustration turned to determination. It was the same face he made when he first grabbed Chizuru's hand on the way over, swallowing as he gathered his courage.

“Let me kiss you again.”

“E-excuse me?!” Chizuru nearly tripped, Kasuka dragging him up by the arm as Chizuru felt his face burn with embarrassment. “Since when do you give the orders?!”

“Do you not want me to then?”

Chizuru wanted to retort that it was bold of him to assume he did, except that it was true - there was an edge of fear in Kasuka's expression, and Chizuru felt his heart twist again with the weight of his trust as he instead shot back “Of course I do! That you even have to ask,”

Relief melted into new determination as Kasuka nodded, squeezing Chizuru's hand.

“Good.” He turned back towards the road ahead of them, giving the way forward a scowl. “I already had to deal with that damnable Ushiwaka’s questioning this morning- after the embarrassment I made of myself today, I have no intention of returning to that room and suffering any more of it.”

“Oh? And so I suppose my room sounds more comfortable to you, being currently unoccupied?”

“Exactly.”

“How horrible~” Chizuru fixed him a wicked smile, narrowing his eyes, “is that why you asked to kiss me?”

Kasuka's gaze turned back to him, and something about the strength in it made Chizuru's smile falter.

“... No. That’s far from my only reason.”

Chizuru felt a shiver move through him, something about Kasuka’s eyes on him suggesting a million alternative meanings, and suddenly he didn't have any trouble keeping up with his anxious pace.

They were actually running by the time they made it back on campus, Chizuru caught up in the adrenaline as he let out a laugh, Kasuka hurrying him through the halls by the hand. He didn't think Kasuka even saw a point in rushing anymore, anxious frustration long having left his steps, but he must've been caught up in it too - the rush, the excitement, the high of just blossoming love that had thrown Chizuru's mind in dizzy circles for the past hour.  
When they reached Chizuru's room, Kasuka didn't even wait for him to make it all the way inside before he slammed the door behind him, shoving Chizuru against it and kissing him ravenously. His passion caught Chizuru off guard, heart seizing as he momentarily let Kasuka take the lead, squirming as Kasuka's wider frame completely caged him in. It didn't take long for Kasuka's sloppy kissing to devolve into what it was: a desperate, vulnerable plea to be loved, and Chizuru did so glady, taking control as Kasuka's body turned weak and trembling around him, until Chizuru could easily shove Kasuka so that their positions were switched, Kasuka letting out a shuddering moan as Chizuru's arms draped over him, dragging him closer. Kasuka let out a whine as Chizuru sucked on his bottom lip, the sound turning into a whimper as he bit down on it, Chizuru's own lips curling into a smile at the sound. He let him go with a satisfied smirk, grinning as Kasuka's eyes hovered on him dazedly, his hazy expression prompting Chizuru to give his lip another hard bite, grinning again as Kasuka whimpered a cry.

“Does it feel real now?”

Kasuka's eyes were focused now, his face a mess of different emotions as Chizuru licked his lips.

“... Yes.”

“Good, at least it does for one of us.”

Chizuru laughed as he kissed him again, smiling into his lips, and Kasuka reciprocated eagerly, hands moving across his back and through his hair as he kissed him - until one found his braid and pulled hard, Chizuru letting out a gasp of pain only for Kasuka to lunge for his lip, biting down with enough force to make him wince.

“... This is not a dream.”

“... Thank you for checking.”

Chizuru narrowed his eyes in a retaliatory sneer, and Kasuka's eyes widened in fear - but before Chizuru could move in again, Kasuka's hands were at his collar, pulling him forward even as he was already moaning against his mouth.  
When they pulled apart Kasuka's eyes were sharp on him, borrowing Chizuru’s move from before and boldly licking his lips, even as his body continued to tremble from the tension of being near Chizuru at his most dangerous.

“Oh, I like that. I like that very much.”


End file.
